1. My wife and I moved out of our small 1 bedroom / 1 bath efficiency and into a 5 bedroom / 2 bath house that we were able to rent out from relatives who recently relocated. We pay nearly the same amount for more space and amenities.
2. Instead of buying immaterial possessions, my wife and I used our first stimulus check to pay off all of our credit card debt. Eagerly awaiting the second stimulus! 3. My credit score went up to almost 800. 4. The mandatory quarantine awakened my creativity and allotted me time to work on my graphic design, logo design and web design skills. I designed 5 new websites. I also worked on a few chapters of my book. 5. I created a new T-shirt line for my deliverance ministry, Transparent For Christ Movement, and launched the collection on my online Christian retail store, Integrity By Design, Inc. Got multiple sales on several hot items! 6. My biological father finally returned my phone call and we spoke for the 1st time in over a year. He admitted the reason why he had been ignoring my calls and apologized. 7. My stepdad got out of prison after serving only 30 of his 75-year sentence. I’m humbled to have had the opportunity to help him get out by doing research to see if any laws or policies related to his case had changed since he’s been arrested so he can file a motion with the court, and I also helped gather up letters from family members to request an immediate compassionate release that the judge approved! I’ve been having fun getting him reintegrated back into society. 8. One of my long lost twin brothers reached out to me and we caught up for the first time in almost 20 years. I cried for days after the call, as the conversation we had affirmed our love for each other and brought much healing to my soul. And I was even more overjoyed to know that he had given his life to the Lord. 9. After speaking with my brother, my sister and I had a long, heartfelt conversation and connected in a way we’ve never connected before. Something we’ve always wanted to do to build our relationship but just never had the chance to do. 10. I mustered up the courage to have a conversation with the individual who initiated me, or turned me out to homosexuality during middle school. They confessed that they’ve always wanted to have the conversation with me as well but didn’t know how to bring up the subject. We talked it out, reconciled, and finally brought closure to what happened over 17 years ago. I also got a chance to share the uncompromised gospel with them. 11. I gained experience in grant writing for non profits. And my job, Be Strong Int'l, Inc., received several of the grants we’ve written, which has allowed us to hire more employees and extend our services within the community. 12. I got a much needed raise at my job. My wife also got a new job working online from home and she also does some freelance contractor work that has added financial wealth to our household. Both of our YouTube channels are racking up views and Google is constantly sending us direct deposits from our monetized videos (all faith-based content, by the way). 13. My job was finally able to offer it’s employees health, dental and vision insurance. 14. After all of my 2020 speaking engagements were canceled due to COVID, I was asked to get booked as a guest speaker at Freedom March, a Christian conference for former LGBTQ individuals that took place in Atlanta this year, and I got to share my testimony and make dozens of new connections. 15. After all my 2020 spoken word gigs were canceled due to COVID, INK Season, a spoken word organization that I was a part of, officially relaunched and I got a chance to perform poetry again! 16. I went to Dallas to visit my in laws for Thanksgiving, and got a chance to run into the pastor who mentored me when I first got saved and helped me in my deliverance from my alternative lifestyle through the ministry he founded a decade ago for men and women overcoming sexual brokenness, The Overcomers Network. 17. I accepted the call into the 5 fold office of a pastor and my wife accepted the call as a prophetess after receiving numerous confirmations. My wife and I started a new church, Higher Calling In Christ Ministries Int’l, and had our inaugural online service on the last Sunday of the year. After listening to the first sermon, several have pledged to becoming members. The church is on its way toward being officially incorporated as a non profit with the state of Florida and I’ll be receiving my ordination papers in a few weeks. 18. My prophetic gift has also increased as I’ve been praying, fasting and consecrating regularly. I’ve been having dreams, visions and prophesying a lot more in this season. 19. I survived the whole year without contracting COVID. I’ve been praying Psalm 91 over myself and family regularly, but know it’s only by the grace of God that we’ve been kept! 20. My wife finally convinced me to switch over from Android to iPhone after praying for me almost 7 years. My green bubbles are now blue. Lol My greatest empathy and condolences for those who have had a rough year and have experienced loss, but honestly, 2020 has been one of my best years ever.
0 Comments
God’s word is only God’s word when it is properly interpreted. When it is misinterpreted, it is now your word.
It may sound good, but is it sound doctrine? Our grandma, seminary teacher and pastor may not have taught us everything right. They could only give us what they have been taught with the biblical tools and experience they had. But we must be willing to challenge what we were taught — like the Bereans — to see if it is truth, and not just accept any and every thing we hear because we love the person who gave the word to us. If they rebuke or silence you for challenging their teachings or for asking questions, that’s a red flag. You have the right to seek clarity and understanding concerning spiritual things. Your soul is at stake. We have to be courageous enough and willing to renew our mind if what we learned wasn’t truth. We must learn to separate the information from the source and don’t defend the source if they are wrong. They must be corrected in love so they don’t continue teaching others false or misinterpreted doctrine. At the same time, just because the information is bad doesn’t meant the person is bad, nor does it mean they aren’t saved or aren’t genuinely walking with God. It just makes them human with flawed information. We can’t be quick to condemn them and cast the person out with the bad doctrine. We have to pray that God illuminate them and give them revelation of his word just like he did for us. For we once believed in error as well and it took God a while to bring us into order. No one has all the answers. We know in part and are all still learning. May Holy Spirit guide us into all truth in Jesus name. It’s so hard to say goodbye to someone whom you’ve known for so long and have build such a strong relationship with. This is precisely the case with Wynesha Joy Medley. This was a phenomenal woman of God, someone whom I’ve known for almost a decade. When I first got saved, Wynesha, or Winnie as she was nicknamed, was one of the first to reach out to me and became my sister in Christ, my prayer and Bible study partner, my accountability partner, my confidant, my encourager, and to sum it up, someone whom grew to become one of my best friends. We could talk to each other about anything. But most of our convos were centered around God, ministry and notes from her pastor’s sermons. Lol. 😂
The bond I developed with her was so pure, and it was stronger than any other bond I’ve had. In fact, the connection I felt between us was so great, I remember one day in particular when I just outright asked her if she would marry me. Lbvs. However, that wasn’t God’s will for our relationship. Nevertheless, Winnie and I still remained close friends over the years. She had a heart for God, the lost, praise dancing, serving children, graphic design, and had dreams of becoming an entrepreneur. At the age of 26, she had a bright future ahead of her. 🙌 With that being said, I find it so disheartening to hear how her life was so violently and unfairly taken away from her. She was the victim of a domestic violence assault last week Tuesday, but fortunately, her killer was brought to justice last night. It took me a while to actually post this because I was in a state of shock, confusion and complete disbelief all week. But the reality of her death finally hit me today. 😔 We became friends via MySpace many years ago, and would often talk about how we couldn’t wait to finally meet each other in person, but the opportunity never presented itself because she ended up moving. Her viewing will be this weekend at the church she grew up in, which I just found out is right down the street from where I live. I plan on attending to show my respects. Though we’ve been friends for years, it’s sad to know that the first and last time I’ll ever get the chance to actually see her in person will be at her funeral. 😢 Rest In Him, Wynesha Joy Medley. You lived your life with purpose, have touched many lives including mine, and have left a legacy for yourself. I know without a shadow of doubt in my mind that your salvation was secured and that you will have a place in heaven with Jesus. This isn’t goodbye, this is just see you later. Much love, sis! See you on the other side. ✌ Today, after noticing a nail that had gotten stuck in my tire, I went to this tire shop by my house to get it plugged. As I stood to the side and allowed one of the men at the shop to service my car, suddenly, this older woman who was standing nearby walks up to me and makes a surprising and random confession.
“I battle with cocaine addiction,” she confessed. “And it’s hard for me to give up the drugs because my old man is a drug dealer.” I stared her in the face. Her countenance was down and she seemed very ashamed. Without hesitation, I began to minister to her. “You don’t have to be addicted to drugs,” I assured her. “You can be free in Jesus name.” As soon as I mentioned the words “free” and “Jesus”, she stared at me with eyes wide open. I could tell that the words I spoke had given her hope. “Thank you!” she replied. “I needed to hear that.” “Amen,” I said. “Do you want to be free, though?It’s one think to know that you can be free. But it’s another thing to want to be free and to actually put in the sacrifices needed to be free. You’re going to have to separate yourself from familiar people, places and things that pose as a stumbling block for you.” “Yes. I understand,” she said. “And I want to be free.” “Freedom is found only in Jesus.” I began to take her through the prayer for salvation. “Do you believe in Jesus? Do you believe he’s the son of God? Do you believe he died on the cross for your sins–To save and deliver you from your sins? Do you believe he was buried and rose again on the third day, and is now sitting in heaven making intercession daily for you? Do you accept this Jesus into your heart as your personal Lord and Savior?” “Yes, I do,” she replied to every statement, nodding her head with each answer. “Ok, because you believe in your heart and have confessed the Lord Jesus with your mouth, I’m going to pray for your deliverance and for you to be filled with, and empowered by the Holy Spirit.” As I laid my hands on her head, and prayed for her, I began to rebuke every addiction and generational curse off of her life, loosen every demonic stronghold, shackle and chain that had her bound, and bind up every spirit of guilt, shame, self-condemnation, heaviness, hopelessness, etc. I commanded any unclean spirit(s) to leave her and for the Holy Spirit to take residence inside of her vessel. As I prayed for her, she began to scream and cry and shake. So I hugged her tight to me and continued to pray. When I finished praying, and let her go, her face was soaked with tears. No matter how much she wiped her face, the tears continued to flow. “I feel free,” she expressed. “I feel so light! I never felt this light before. I sit on the corner of this tire shop every single day, and I drink my alcohol and snort my cocaine. Everyone sees me as being hard and tough. No one has ever been able to make me cry or has ever seen me cry before. But as I cry, I feel a release. I know that I have to release what is inside of me in order to receive what God has for me.” Taking money out of her back pocket, she continued, “I was just about to take this money and go buy me some drugs, but God sent you to me as a messenger to speak to me!!! I have never seen you before in my life. But I know that God brought you here just for me! I don’t need to buy any drugs. I need to use this money to get my son something to eat. My God-mother is a minister and she’s been telling me about Jesus and has been telling me that I need to stop using drugs for a long time now, but I never listened to her. When I bring my other drug addicted friends to her, they all get delivered and never go back. But she hasn’t been able to get me to stop. But God used you to speak to me and help free me.” Then, praising God, she reached out and wrapped her arms around me and gave me another hug. After I finished ministering to her, I looked around and there were people circled all around us. The owner of the tire shop, several of her employees and even some other customers. Then the owner of the tire shop approached me. “I don’t know who you are, but that was powerful. Whatever it is that you just did, it’s needed around here. You should come up here to my shop more often. There’s a lot of people who hang out on this corner who needs you to come help them and talk to them.” “Praise God,” I responded. “What you just witnessed was the love of God delivering someone who was ready to be free.” I was just having a conversation with some friends about this infamous question: “Who comes first: the Wife or the Mother?”
Let’s go to the word of God to see what it has to say about this. Genesis 2:24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and the two shall become one flesh. Well, there you have it. When a man gets married, he can no longer be a momma’s boy. He has to let go of his mother’s skirt and become the head of his new family. Men, show honor and respect to your mother, for this pleases the Lord. If you can learn how to honor and respect your mother, then when you get married, you should be able to demonstrate that same honor and respect to your wife as well. But you definitely don’t want to be a man who’s going to put your mother before your wife. That’s out of order, according to the Scriptures. A lot of men who get married have problems in their relationship because they either forget to LEAVE their mother and father or they haven’t learned how to CLEAVE to their wife. You have to do BOTH in order to have a successful marriage. I had to learn that in my own marriage. I’ve been married for only one year now, and in the early stages, like the first few months, it was hard for me to “leave” my mom because she’s a single parent mother and I felt obligated to step up and be the man of the house in the absence of my father. My mother and I have also been by each other’s side for the past 24 years of my life, so we have a history with a lot of experience together. I couldn’t imagine life without my Momma. We were like best friends, have gone through many storms together, have confided in each other, laughed with each other, cried in each other’s arms. We have always been there for each other emotionally and financially. We have always referred to ourselves as being “two peas in a pod”. When I got married, it felt like I was being forced to forsake a woman I had been in a relationship with for two decades for another woman, whom I had only been in a relationship with for nearly two years. Like Latoya Luckett would say, “I’m torn inbetween the two!” But as hard as it was, once I got married, I had to learn how to place my mom second to my wife. When I took my vows, I vowed to be faithful to my wife and to forsake all others. That means I had to forsake all women, including my own mom, the closest woman to me in my entire life! I had to learn the hard way how to leave, or forsake my mom when it came to emotional and financial stability. Not saying that I could never seek for her help in rough seasons of my life. But rather, I had to learn how not to vitally depend on her in these areas, as if she’s my main life support. I even had a vision one day earlier in my marriage of me as a baby attached to my mother via the umbilical cord, but then the cord got cut. That vision confirmed to me that it was time to cut the support I was receiving from my mom off. I could no longer commit [emotional] adultery against my wife with my mom. I cannot have two wives! I had to learn how to politely keep my mom out of my most intimate marital affairs and how not to vent to her about what’s going on with me and my wife. That should be for me and my wife to work out between ourselves only. I had to learn how to fulfill my wife’s requests first before I would go run to help my mom every time she would call me for help. I had to learn how to make sure my marriage was in order. My mother will always be my mother, dearly beloved. We still have a good relationship. And if I can do anything for her, I will. But at the end of the day, I have to go home and sleep with my wife, not my mom. So I have to make sure that there’s peace in my home between me and my wife, for a house that’s divided against itself cannot stand. Plus, I’m going to be held accountable to God for my wife, not my mother. Some married men haven’t learned this leaving and cleaving concept yet. But it’s vital for him to learn this if he wants his relationship to work. If not, then he oughta just stay single and under momma’s skirt. No wife has time to fight another woman over her own husband. She especially don’t have the time to fight her own mother-in-law over him. No husband should make his wife feel like she had to fight for his love, affection and attention. He should assure and affirm his wife that she’s first in his life (second only to God). Mothers, you have to learn to let your son go. He’s not your baby boy any more. He’s a grown man. A family man! Stop cleaving to him. Let him cleave to his wife! My mom used to pressure me about sex during my teenage years: “When are you going to have me some grandbabies? I’m not getting any younger. You need to get yourself a girlfriend.” My dad would often taunt me about sex, too: “Son, who’s that girl you were talking to outside? Is that your girlfriend? What do you mean you aren’t dating? What do you mean you are practicing abstinence? My son ain’t gay is he?”
I wanted to honor my parents by having sex and blessing them with grandchildren, but for some reason–although my parents weren’t married–I knew deep down inside my heart that sex was only for married people. So I waited. But in doing so, I was going against the social norm because society taught me that what makes me a man is not found in how I can remain sexually chaste, but in how many women I can sleep with. It was challenging for me to remain a virgin in an overly sex driven culture; To be enticed and seduced by individuals at school who wanted to “pop my cherry”; To be solicited for sex by random, promiscuous women on the street and by down low men lurking in public restrooms… And I knew they meant well, but to also come home and be pressured by my parents to have sex was just overbearing. However, despite all the external temptations and internal battles with my raging hormones, I was able to maintain my virginity for 24 years, until the day of my wedding night–I was engaged for nearly two years but didn’t have sex nor did I even kiss my wife until “I do.” Keeping myself pure has not been easy at all, though. Although I managed to maintain my virginity until marriage as far as intercourse was concerned, because of my extreme frailty and the lack of moral standards I had within my relationships, I ended up compromising sexually in other ways: via pornography, cybersex, phone sex, sexting, kissing, making out, mutual masturbation, being the recipient of oral stimulation, etc. But God! I thank God for coming into my life when he did, and for preventing me from eventually going “all the way.” I thank God for teaching me how to love myself, how to value my body and how to have self control. I thank God for giving me wisdom and practical tips on how to deal with my own sexual urges and with the sexual advances that others would make toward me. I wish I could have remained sexually pure in all of my ways during my entire single life, but I can’t turn back the hands of time. I just thank God that his grace is sufficient and his mercies are everlasting. I thank God for the bloodshed of his son, Christ Jesus, who forgives me of my sins and removes my guilt and shame. And I thank God that he finally gave me a wife whom I can now share and express my affections to (the right way without committing fornication). I thank God that I didn’t listen to my friends or my parents to have sex and babies while I was still in school–that would have interfered in my education. I’m grateful that I waited on God’s perfect timing. It feels good to know that I didn’t give up my virginity to some random person just for the sake of gaining the experience of having sex and just so I could fit in with the guys in school who mostly talk about sex. I thank God I waited until I found someone who I love and vice versa, and that we entered into a mutual, monogamous, lifelong, Christ-centered covenant with each other, and not just a friends with benefit type of relationship. This lessens my likelihood of being cheated on, broken up with, or contracting a disease. Now that I’m married, I’m in a morally upright position to have children, and I’m glad that my kids will not have to worry about being born out of wedlock or growing up a bastard, or raised by a single parent like I was. If you are reading this and you are still a virgin, or someone who has or who wants to rededicated themselves to abstinence, I just want to encourage you with my testimony. Know your self worth and don’t give in to the peer pressure, no matter who it is coming from. True love is worth the wait! #NoWedNoBed #TransparentForChrist #Repost
SON: “Daddy, may I ask you a question?” DAD: “Yeah sure, what is it?” SON: “Daddy, how much do you make an hour?” DAD: “That’s none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?” SON: “I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?” DAD: “If you must know, I make $100 an hour.” SON: “Oh! (With his head down). SON: “Daddy, may I please borrow $50?” The father was furious. DAD: “If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you are being so selfish. I work hard everyday for such this childish behavior.” The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door. The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy’s questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money? After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down, and started to think: Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that $ 50 and he really didn’t ask for money very often. The man went to the door of the little boy’s room and opened the door. DAD: “Are you asleep, son?” SON: “No daddy, I’m awake”. DAD: “I’ve been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier. It’s been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here’s the $50 you asked for.” The little boy sat straight up, smiling. SON: “Oh, thank you daddy!” Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills. The man saw that the boy already had money, started to get angry again. The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his father. DAD: “Why do you want more money if you already have some?” SON: “Because I didn’t have enough, but now I do. “Daddy, I have $100 now. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you.” The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little son, and he begged for his forgiveness. It’s just a short reminder to all of you working so hard in life. We should not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some time with those who really matter to us, those close to our hearts. Do remember to share that with someone you love? If we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of days. But the family and friends we leave behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives. And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more into work than to our family. Some things are more important. The average depth of a woman’s vagina is 3 to 4 inches deep when non-aroused and can range anywhere between 4 to 7 inches deep when fully aroused.
The average length of a man’s penis is 5.6 inches long when fully erect. A lot of men are insecure with their penis size because of the lack of knowledge they have. They think it’s too small for a woman’s vagina because of how thick she may be on the outside. But a woman’s vagina will actually accommodate your penis, so don’t worry. If it’s too long, though, and goes in too deep, it may hit the front of her cervix and may hurt her during intercourse. It’s not about how big or small you are. It’s about how you use what you got. Another reason why men are insecure and discontent with their penis size is because they watch too much pornography, and compare themselves to the male porn stars in it who are oversized. Now, although there are men out there who are 7 to 12 inches long, that is not typical. These men are a rare breed, and porn producers intentionally look for these “Mandingos” when recruiting male performers–And it’s all just to get better sales. The bigger the penises are, the more likely you will be to purchase their films. So just know that when you constantly see these oversized genitals in a porn flick, it contributes to your distorted view of what “normal” is. Stop watching porn; it’s an illusion. Stop comparing your penis to other men and coveting what they have. Stop being so insecure. Stop listening to your boys. Sex isn’t all about how big you are, it’s about how well you work with what you got. Click here to read the Facebook thread on this topic. The triangular theory of love is a theory of love developed by psychologist, Robert Sternberg.
Sternberg believes that love is made up of three traits: Passion, Intimacy and Commitment. Each of which may be present or absent in a relationship. The presence or absence in these components produce seven (7) triangles, or types of love. In most of our casual, daily relationships, there is no sense of passion, intimacy or commitment. Sternberg terms this, nonlove, which he does not count as one of the (7) types, or triangles of love. (1) Liking: Where there is intimacy without sexual passion, and without strong personal commitment, we are friends. Friends can separate for long periods of time and then pick up the relationship as if it never ended. (2) Infatuation: Passion alone leads to infatuation. Infatuation refers to physiological arousal and a sexual desire for another person. Infatuation usually fades, often to be replaced with infatuation with someone else. (3) Empty love: Empty love involves commitment alone–As in a couple who stays together even though their relationship long-ago lost its passion and intimacy. Relationships that begin with commitment alone can develop intimacy and passion. With liking, infatuation and empty love, only one side of the triangle is complete ( / , — , \ ), which creates an unstable figure, and an incomplete relationship. (4) Romantic love: Passion plus intimacy leads to romantic love, which is often the first phase of a relationship. Romantic love is often an intense, joyful experience. (5) Companionate love: Intimacy plus commitment creates companionate love. Companionate love ranges from long-term, deeply committed friendships, to married or long-term couples who have experienced a decrease in the passionate aspect of their love. (6) Fatuous love: Passion plus commitment creates fatuous love. Love is fatuous, silly or foolish, when one does not really know the one to whom one is making a commitment. Hollywood often portrays two people who meet, become infatuated and make a commitment by the end of the movie. However, a committed relationship continues even after passion fades. But if intimacy doesn’t grow in its place, you’re left only with commitment. So it makes sense to know one’s partner before making a commitment. With romantic love, companionate love and fatuous love, two sides of the triangle are complete ( /\ ). These relationships make a more stable figure, although the triangle and relationship is still incomplete. (7) Consummate love: Consummate, or complete love has all three elements in balance–passion, commitment and intimacy ( ∆ ). Even after achieving consummate love, we can lose it. Passion can fade. Intimacy can stagnate. Commitment can be undermined by an attraction to another. But it is consummate love we all strive for. |
Archives
December 2020
Categories |